Doing the Best that I can

I give myself permission to make mistakes

As long as a lesson is learned

I give myself permission to fall

As long as I stand back up

I give myself permission to fail

As long as I persevere

I give myself permission to love

As long as I know my worth

I give myself permission to be angry
To be sad

As long as I do not remain bitter

I give myself permission to cry
To hurt
To dislike

As long as I do not dwell in misery

I give myself permission to give up for a day

As long as I try again tomorrow

I give myself permission to be me

As long as I remember

I am human

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Different Directions

WordpressFriends

You have been my best friend for 24 years. How did we come to a place that I fear, we cannot come back from? In the years leading up to the current, you have always been busy. However, we have always found a way to come back to one another and pick up from where we left off.

This…

This is different, though.

I try to be understanding to the situation at hand. I am a single female who is still trying to figure out what I am doing with my life. Meanwhile, you have a new companion. A husband and a family of your own. I would never want to be more of a priority than them. Yet, it seems like I am not important at all.

Like the ocean tide, we have gradually drifted apart.

We used to hang out all the time.

Playing house.

Singing songs.

Making up dance routines.

Playing at your family’s garage.

Hanging out with extended family.

Going to church together.

Laughing at nothing.

Talking about boys.

Doing each other’s hair.

Being there for each other when life got hard.

Picking up the pieces from the people who broke our hearts.

It saddens me because over the two decades of friendship that we have shared, I never thought we would arrive at this kind of fork in the road. Two people, who have almost, completely lost one another in their journey.

I made a pact with you that we would be in each other’s weddings. Well I still have to fulfill that promise to you. What happens if we stop showing up? What if we do not talk at all? What if we become so involved with our own lives we forget to call? Some of that is already happening so what would happen if we reach the bottom of this downfall?

It really should not surprise me, though. People come and people go. I have had many friends say goodbye just as fast as they have said hello. Even close friends who I thought would never leave me alone. I must admit that some were for good reason and I am thankful for weaving my way through them. Still, the sting of this hurts because I do not want it to end.

 

If I Could

Hug

If I could

I would erase the miles between you and I

Lay my head against your chest

Listening to the heart that beats in rhythm with mine

I would obsess over the way you look into my eyes

And no longer fantasize

About you being next to me

I would digest every detail of what your hand looks like

Wrapped around your future wife’s, admirably

Words are communicated that have been left unsaid

While doubts are laid to rest with just one kiss to my forehead

I would sit in awe of you

Letting the moment sink in

As I let out one big sigh of relief

My soul renewed and filled with adrenaline

But the peace you bring, is more than I have ever known

What a contradiction

To have harmony within a cyclone

I would laugh at all your best jokes

Paying attention to what evokes your spirit to sing with joy

Even if I may annoy you from time to time

I would never be left behind

There would be days when we disagree

Though nothing could come between the love of you and me

Dedicated to X-Lovers and So-Called Friends

20151013_132335

My greatest revenge

is letting you see

I am okay

Without you

On my own

Happy

You may have left me on my knees

But you did not break me

I have taken the rain from my eyes

and made a thunderstorm from my tenacity

You were a lesson I had to learn

The heartbreak that once took me to the point of no return

Has left the old me to burn

Thank you for helping me to see what I want and need

For helping plant the seed

that will one day lead me to love that succeeds

D.B.L. (Dream Believe Love)

GirlintheShadows

I am a dreamer

A believer

A lover

Not a fighter

I am not a schemer

And would rather give than to be the receiver

I dream of a time that will ignite and excite

When a light at the end of the tunnel will be in sight

I believe in the ability to feel free

In love and fate

That good things happen to those who wait

The power of an individual’s might

and that anything can be conquered if you just take flight

Used

Close your eyes

Open your thighs

Piece of meat

Ready to eat

He whispers, your body is sweet

I feel cheap

You have taken an innocent heart

Not knowing that her heartbeat stops

You have cheated yourself on getting to know the human being

While your fingers are too busy sightseeing

Is that all that I am to you?

Just a body aimed to please

Ripping my clothes off by the seams

Getting off on what you see

Then you leave

© WildRiverRebel 2017

 

Young Soul, Never Give Up (Girl Version)

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number: 1-800-273-8255

 

Young soul, I pray you never give up.

Though your day may be grey, please do not go astray.

You have much to live for with a purpose only you can portray.

Rainbows can’t be displayed if there is no rain

Break free from the chains of people who leave you strained

What they lose is another person’s gain

Let the makeup that has run down your beautiful face leave a stain

The pain you’ve endured will build your strength

Helping you to reign

There are people who care

Who understand your worth

That have yet to be unearthed

You are not alone in this fight between the light and the night

The sight of the mountain’s height can give you such fright

Though when at it’s peak, you will find flight

I know it’s hard to cope when you’re walking a tightrope

But please believe me when I say, there is hope

There is more to this galaxy than anyone can comprehend

Lend me your hand so I can help you off this ledge

Rather than face the end

It will take time but I promise your heart can mend

You are important

You are loved

Let these words be your friend

©WildRiverRebel 2017

Side Effects of Social Media

What happened to the days where life was not lived behind a screen?

Too busy looking at social media to stop and enjoy the scenery.

Now this generation bullies by way of tweeting, commenting, and posting obscenities

As that child cries at night wondering, “Why are you so mean?”

While another kid ponders if they should end their life at the age of fifteen.

So unfair of what the internet can do, like letting another adult easily criticize and judge you.

Where are the words of encouragement and love to help us through?

Why must we compare ourselves to those who have not lived in our shoes?

Their lives; so seemingly happy without an ounce of residue.

Such beauty that exudes envy across many who wish they could look like that too.

But what thousands do not understand is what may be seen in front of you is not always the truest of views.

If only we knew the imperfections behind the pictures of what these people drew.

Yet we seek validation from those same persons, hoping to prove that we are of value.

And this is what our children see throughout the years leading up to their adult debut.

Why do I need acknowledgement from you?

Our worth cannot be based on those who have no clue.

Even if you do not get the reaction you pursued, more than likely, it still got looked into.

It is easy for us to be misunderstood, when our words can get twisted more than they should.

Than our true intentions are hindered because what we say is made into a falsehood.

Making us out to be no good.

©WildRiverRebel 2017

 

True Love is not….

True love is not, driven by force or fear.

True love is not, with a fist full of beer.

True love is not, making you look like, “a deer in the headlights,” leading you to tears.

True love is not, keeping you near to the point of always wondering if you’re in the clear.

True love is not, using words like a spear.

True love is not, controlling how you think, act, or feel.

True love is not, masking the truth underneath a chandelier.

True love is not, keeping you from your family or peers.

True love is not, saying sorry and being insincere.

True love is not, letting another interfere.

True love is not, when your self-worth depletes because they are the auctioneer.

True love is, helping you steer the wheel through life’s frontier, so you may persevere when all you want to do is disappear.

Do not be discouraged my dear for true love, I promise, will appear.

©WildRiverRebel 2017