No Choice

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Tormenting

It’s a sad torment to know you will never be someone’s prority
I am always an option
Never the choice
I choose to take care of others
Yet no man has ever nurtured my wants or needs
I do not mean money or material things
Your time
Attention and
Consistency are the keys
If that is something you cannot give
Then I will have to go back to where it begins
By myself
Where I should have been

Wasted Time

I refuse to sacrifice my self worth
Waiting by the phone
I was okay before you
And I’ll be damned if I am not okay after you
Whatever the reason is for you coming into my life
Know that I don’t regret it
But what I am sorry for is that I wasted my time on someone who had no time for me.

If I Could

Hug

If I could

I would erase the miles between you and I

Lay my head against your chest

Listening to the heart that beats in rhythm with mine

I would obsess over the way you look into my eyes

And no longer fantasize

About you being next to me

I would digest every detail of what your hand looks like

Wrapped around your future wife’s, admirably

Words are communicated that have been left unsaid

While doubts are laid to rest with just one kiss to my forehead

I would sit in awe of you

Letting the moment sink in

As I let out one big sigh of relief

My soul renewed and filled with adrenaline

But the peace you bring, is more than I have ever known

What a contradiction

To have harmony within a cyclone

I would laugh at all your best jokes

Paying attention to what evokes your spirit to sing with joy

Even if I may annoy you from time to time

I would never be left behind

There would be days when we disagree

Though nothing could come between the love of you and me

Maybe

Maybe I’m just bad at relationships

Or maybe people, do not know how to love

I have made up my mind

I am done 

Chasing

Looking

I am content with being on my own

I accept that maybe I’m supposed to be alone 

In my thoughts

My space

But if the time comes where you walk in

I’ll be ready 

With open arms

Only if you mean 

No harm

Open Up to Me

shadows

I need to hear you say something

Anything

Just a hey or a hi

Start the conversation

All you have to do is try

Am I crazy to think that you would want someone like me?

We are on two different levels

From what I see

You are successful

I am still trying to get by

So you tell me

If this thing is real or a lie

Deep down

I can’t just let you go

But I am not desperate enough

To chase a shadow

I know

The fear of rejection can be hard

Believe me

I’ll show you a heart that is scarred

Yet, if you never move closer

We will never know

If a notion of love could grow

Leaving me to make a decision

Of possibly

No longer being in your vision

Dedicated to X-Lovers and So-Called Friends

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My greatest revenge

is letting you see

I am okay

Without you

On my own

Happy

You may have left me on my knees

But you did not break me

I have taken the rain from my eyes

and made a thunderstorm from my tenacity

You were a lesson I had to learn

The heartbreak that once took me to the point of no return

Has left the old me to burn

Thank you for helping me to see what I want and need

For helping plant the seed

that will one day lead me to love that succeeds

Used

Close your eyes

Open your thighs

Piece of meat

Ready to eat

He whispers, your body is sweet

I feel cheap

You have taken an innocent heart

Not knowing that her heartbeat stops

You have cheated yourself on getting to know the human being

While your fingers are too busy sightseeing

Is that all that I am to you?

Just a body aimed to please

Ripping my clothes off by the seams

Getting off on what you see

Then you leave

© WildRiverRebel 2017